hiding from the rain with a cup of coffee and some borrowed headphones i dream of a life that seems lost in a cloud of smoke and a white powdered bag full of false confidence and real regret/regret of what i've lost WHO i've lost what i've done and what i've lost...over and over and over and under. sinking? soaring? flatline. IHATEYOU.IHATEYOU.iloveyou.shrinking/growing/passing along without a home or hope of future.myfuturecouldbebright.itcouldbeBRIGHT.as the fucking sun baby if i get off my ass and out of my head and into the street in front of a fucking car/train/plane.it's plain. flicker.flutter.fuck.relentless monotiny.relelentless fucking waste of a year.possessions lost to the elements.to the fucking elements-will you buy me a drink?whiskey downed to drown.drunken flings.i broke your guitar i broke my talent.broke. cold broken and alone.i want a cigarette/and a marimba. i want to see sparkling humans under an effervescent sphere of warmth/if you get up close burning all encompassed. ashy bloody liquid. a mess AFUCKINGMESSand i can see it all. RAIN DOWN.pour down/my throat a bottle of earlytimes another bottle of earlytimes, anyone for a shot of jack to chase it with?beyond that i do not, i confess,i do not know.back and forth and up and down.